


The Secret's In The Telling

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drama, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-02
Updated: 2006-08-02
Packaged: 2018-09-02 14:10:24
Rating: Teen & Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8670601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Dean and Sam keep a secret.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

** The Secret’s In The Telling **

**Summary:** Dean and Sam keep a secret.

_Written for[ ](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_challenges/profile)[**spn_challenges**](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_challenges/) First 20 Times challenge [First Secret]_

**Rating:** PG-13

**Characters:** Dean, Sam

**Word Count:** 1,159

**Warning:** Wincest. Guh.

**Author’s Notes:** I find it funny that I’m just making up first times so I can get rid of these stories. =P Enjoy!  
  
_Title taken from “The Secret’s In The Telling” by Dashboard Confessional, which was listened to on repeat during the making of this story.  
  
_[The Chart](http://1shotjunkie.livejournal.com/1290.html)  
  
 

\- - - 

 

People keep secrets for a reason, Sam realizes. They are protecting something or someone from the truth; Sam knows sometimes the truth will hurt or frighten. But he doesn’t like the lies, though they are meant for the best of intentions. 

 

He still keeps his secrets though; he still lies. It’s not a habit, more of the right decision. Because if some truths were known, Sam couldn’t think of what would happen to him.

 

\- - -

 

“Why do we do this?”

 

“What?”

 

“Hunt.”

 

“For Mom.”

 

“Yeah, I know that.”

 

“So, that’s why we do it.”

 

“Dean, why do we _really_ do it? Not for Mom, not for revenge, not even for Dad. Why do we do it?”

 

“We’re compelled to do what we must do. And that’s hunt.”

 

\- - - 

 

Touches are lazy in summer heat; every word has meaning because both are running out of breath. Lips catch soft and wet on sharp teeth; one moans. Legs tangle and arms hit the headboard, but neither knows anymore. Numb bodies fit together perfectly; they smile because they always fit. They fall into place with each other.

 

Lights flash in Sam’s eyes; he feels his brother’s body hot against his. Slick and smooth, tanned and muscles tightening under gripping fingers. Dean hisses as nails break skin and the blood cools his skin.

 

Sam is coming before he can think and he screams with Dean biting down on his neck. A hand covers his mouth to silence him; dark eyes flashing with indignation at Sam’s cry. He laughs behind the hand as Dean keeps moving and his eyes are fluttering closed.

 

It’s a secret they keep in between orange-pink skies of dusk and yellow ripples of dawn; a secret all their own.

 

\- - - 

 

“You’re not sleeping.”

 

“Neither are you.”

 

“Dean.”

 

“Sam.”

 

“Go to bed.”

 

“You go to bed.”

 

“I am. I was – until I felt you breathing down my neck.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“What’s really the matter?”

 

“You know I never sleep when you don’t.”

 

“But I was –”

 

“You can’t lie to me Sam. What was it about this time?”

 

“Dad. He was – he was dead.”

 

“You know that we’ll all be fine right? We’ll make it out okay.”

 

“It’s a nice dream, Dean, it really is, but I tend to like reality.”

 

“Sam.”

 

“Good night Dean.”

 

\- - -

 

Their shoulders brush, barely considered a lingering of fresh air against bare skin.

Dean pulls in a sharp breath and waits for Sam to move again under the covers. Sam stiffens, his legs locked and ready to move away if it had too. 

 

Lips pass by during the night, unintentional and a mistake. Sam wakes, sweaty and shaken, but Dean sleeps peacefully, head nuzzling further into the damp pillow.

 

Legs knock together in the car; Sam doesn’t notice but Dean’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He bites his cheek to stop himself from asking Sam why.

 

Hands clasp together and they know it’s not a mistake. Dean screams not to let go and Sam won’t; he never will. Sam pulls Dean away as the rock tumbles down the cliff and they fall together on the ground, fitting together in a way that shouldn’t make sense, but does.

 

\- - - 

 

“You haven’t said much lately.”

 

“Nothing to say.”

 

“Really now?”

 

“Is there something you desperately need from me?”

 

“You know what I want Sam.”

 

“You can lay off for a bit.”

 

“I know you want it too.”

 

“I can control myself Dean, unlike you.”

 

“I just miss you, Sammy. I miss us.”

 

“I found something.”

 

“What, your sense of commitment and longing?”

 

“A lead, you jerk.”

 

“Are you going to keep ignoring this then?”

 

“I’m not ignoring it.”

 

“Then why are you walking away?”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

“I know something’s wrong when you want to keep hunting.”

 

\- - - 

 

They give in and it’s not supposed to be this way, but it is.

 

Bodies intertwine, fingers brush along all those forbidden places. Dean knows he shouldn’t love those places; he shouldn’t love Sam’s neck, Sam’s chest, the dip in Sam’s stomach as it leads down, down, down to the truly forbidden. It’s wrong to want to hear his name roll across his brothers kiss-swollen lips, but he begs for it every time. It’s all wrong, but all right. So right.

 

Sam grips tighter into the sheets, his lips bleeding from biting too hard. He remembers not to scream – he doesn’t need to explain to another motel owner what all the screaming was about the night before. He remembers to hold on tight because Dean’s breaking over him and Sam promised to never let go.

 

\- - -

 

“You told him.”

 

“He asked.”

 

“I don’t think he did.”

 

“Well, he didn’t, but he had to know sometime.”

 

“You told him.”

 

“He took it fine.”

 

“Define fine.”

 

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

 

“Was it that bad?”

 

“It could’ve been worse.”

 

“Evasiveness doesn’t work on me Dean.”               

 

“Too bad for you.”

 

“Doesn’t he want to talk to me?”

 

“I don’t think he can talk right now.”

 

“Poor Dad.”

 

\- - - 

 

It’s their last chance.

 

It’s Dean’s last chance to touch and taste and feel Sam. It’s his last chance to say all those things he’s been meaning to say, but he doesn’t anyway. It’s his last chance to speak his mind and really tell his brother what he thinks of his leaving. But he doesn’t. Not with Sam under him.

 

It’s Sam’s last chance to say goodbye and convince Dean it’s not him, it’s never him. It’s not about them, that is what Sam lives for. He wants to say sorry, sorry for all the pain he know he will cause, but he can’t. Not with Dean over him.

 

The sky catches glimpses of the brothers, together and trying to end it all in their last chance, so they don’t have to leave each wondering what they could’ve done.

 

But they do anyway.

 

\- - - 

 

“You’re not going to change your mind then?”

 

“No.”

 

“You’re really gonna go?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you want help packing?”

 

“I’m good.”

 

“Okay. Just tell me – why are you going?”

 

“Sometimes, Dean, we’re compelled to do what’s forbidden of us.”

 

“Like us?”

 

“Kind of. But I wanted it.”

 

“Past tense noted.”

 

“I didn’t mean it that way.”

 

“I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready to go.”

 

“I’m sorry Dean.”  
  
”For what?”

 

“You’ll understand.”

 

\- - -

 

Dean knows people keep secrets for a reason – they usually protect people from a truth that could shatter their world. Dean knew this from experience and he knew it well. People keep secrets because it’s better that way.

 

But lately, Dean has been taking a stab at honesty. It’s hard, yeah, but they always say honesty is key, right? And it could’ve been that way for him and Sam, but they rested on secrets and lies and ways out of the unthinkable. But Dean is taking a stab at honesty.

 

\- - - 


End file.
